Football players don't like sporting poop?

While eating breakfast, I came across this article about football players who are bummed about wearing poop on their sleeves.  What is that all about?  These ribbons are about spreading awareness about colon cancer, and I totally agree with http://supportourpoops.org/ when they say that Feces should not be a taboo subject!  Everybody poops!  If you have healthy poop, you have a healthy digestive tract and a healthy body!  Poop is great!  Tell your friends!  Get a finger in your butt!  Get examined!  Love your body!  Poop!  Be happy!  Poop!

 

This is what happens if you drink a whole vial of blue food coloring.

...or should I say poo coloring?  My buddy and his friend made some kind of bet to test this out.  Their scientific inquiry proved that red and yellow food color don't have the same notable results.

26 FOOT LONG POOP!!!!

Through a special fibrously rich diet and the use of a butt plug, this woman made a poop the exact length of her colon: 26 feet.

If you aren't impressed by that, you're probably reading the wrong blog.

Get the full story here.

..what I really want to know is which bowling alley let her poop down their lanes.

This is the final entry in a series of stories about commuter poop problems.

This time there was no holding back.

This happened to a friend of mine a while ago, so I went ahead and drew it for him.

He is an accomplished musician and was on his way to a performance with his instrument strapped to his back when out of nowhere a giant wave of poop came over him.  He had no choice but to drop his trousers and poop all over the sidewalk as cars drove by with  passengers gawking.  So for every concert-goer who stepped over a puddle of poop and thought some jerk had lost all respect for society, it was actually a horribly embarrassing accident by the man they had paid to see, who like a true showman, went on to play a killer set that evening.

Sometimes the only thing you can do is pull your pants back up and keep walking like nothing ever happened.

Apparently poop is a common commuter problem...

Click Here for the Whole Story!

You're lucky if traffic is the Only blockage on your morning commute.

Here's one wedding photo that won't make it to the album.

I attended a beautiful wedding over the weekend.

What's the one thing that could make a girl miss the tossing of the bouquet? Nature's call.
And my friend calling me into the bathroom to take this photo. Hosting a poo blog has its drawbacks.

Congrats to the bride and groom! May they have many a poop as happy as THIS one...

Siblings Discover Poop Together

This is an old favorite of mine.  

It is an original song, written and performed by a four and six year old, about a real bath-time poop experience.

Those of you with siblings may have similar stories.  Feel free to share with me for future posts or go ahead and tell us about it in the comments!

My Sister's Butt from P Newton on Vimeo.

The Pooping, The Laughing, The Crying

This poop experience recently happened to a friend of mine.  We'll call him "Z." 

While on an evening outing to the theatre, Z's friend returned from the restroom in an uncontrollable fit of laughter.  Unable to explain what he had just seen, he told Z that he would have to look for himself.

Upon viewing the scene, Z immediately fell into a similar fit of laughing hysteria, but as a professional photographer, he knew his duty.  Through teary eyes and despite the disapproving looks of onlookers, he managed to capture the image contained in the link below.

Z's Poop Experience

     

This is a good time to introduce the POOP WARNING.  Because as much as I enjoy a good poop antidote or an interesting tale of digestion, I don't especially enjoy looking at Real poop, so I understand that you might not either.  Or when my blog shows up in your browsing history, you may want to be able to Claim that you read it for the stories.  

Looking at the splatter pattern, we can only imagine that this was nearly a much more disastrous event for one unfortunate moviegoer.  

Leaving the theatre, the group spotted the manager outside of the restroom, mop and bucket in hand, along with two employees in a heated debate over who would have to clean up the poop.  Let's just say, one of them was shit out of luck.

Introducing... THE HIGH DUMP!

If this video isn't a proper introduction to what this blog is all about, I don't know what is.